An open letter to the older Queer Community

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Thank you.

Thank you to all the Queer folk of my parents generation and beyond for the years of fighting and pain that you had to endure so that I have the ability to celebrate a full month of Pride. Thank you for all the riots, and the protests and for putting up with all the bullshit you faced in your time and continue to face. You started this battle and you’ve left behind some pretty big shoes to fill. Admittedly it can be kind of overwhelming at times but I think as a younger generation, we can rise to the occasion.

Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you to all the Bayard Rustins, José Sarrias, Audre Lordes and Harvey Milks. Thanks for being unapologetic for just being yourselves, regardless of what that meant. Whether you fought in the front lines or just stayed true to who you are in the face of adversity, you’re a warrior and I admire that. You will always be a constant source of strength for me because no matter what I face in life I know I have a community to back me up.

During this month I want to look back on how far we have come as a community and really appreciate what I have thanks to those who have come before me. I’m not saying we’re done. We’re not, far from it. As long as people are being killed over their LGBT+ identities there will be a battle to be fought and won. I want to look back on how far this community has come because I want to see whats possible. I want to see that, in the past, we have won and we will continue to win. I look back so I don’t forget where I come from.

I get snippy a lot on this blog, I spit a lot of nonsense analogies and silly quips. Not this time though, for now I just want to be honest and heartfelt. Amongst all the crazy Pride parties and flamboyant parades, we can forget the true meaning behind this month. So at some point, I urge the LGBT+ individuals of my generation to take a step back and give thanks. Look at this as Thanksgayving (sorry, there had to be a least one dumb joke in here), give thanks and respect during this time. Appreciate and bask in all that you have but also take a look at what still needs to be done. Don’t forget to Celebrate though! This is also about loving yourself and your community after all.

I’m going to leave it that for now. Simple and short, no bells and whistles or flashing lights. Just a thanks and a bit of inspiration.

Tis the season folks,

Till next time, stay Tobly awesome

I know I will.

Feelin’ salty

Personal Posts

Dear Fake Allies,

I don’t like you. It’s not in the homoerotic subtext way that you all seem to think exists between all male characters in your desperate attempts to be LGBT allies without actually doing anything. Nor is it the kind of hate you think ALL straight people who aren’t you harbor for the queer community. You are not some straight savior that we are going to worship and thank and invite into some secret underground gay club. Just because you play the hype man for your own queer fanart and fanfiction doesn’t mean you have the right to tell us how to feel or when we should be offended by something. It also doesn’t make you better than the people who watch lesbian porn.

In fact, I would rather hang out with them than you. You display absolutely no interest in me until the tags #trans #queer or #lgbt are added to my posts. You don’t like me, you like the idea of having a gay friend. You want to introduce me to all your suburban little friends and look like the hip open-minded one with the gay trans guy as a bestie. You complain about how the media brainwashes people but then allow the media to tell you that you need a sassy gay friend to help you pick out your clothes, make you over or help you chose the right guy. Well I’m sorry but you and your green and blue ombre hair (as cool as it is) have been misinformed. I know nothing about fashion. You trust me to put makeup on your face and I WILL make you look like the bride of Chucky and, honestly, I probably have worst taste in men than you do.

I’m not saying the queer community is devoid of any issues what-so-ever, we have a ton and we need to fix that. I’m not talking about us right now though, I am talking about you and deflecting the issue doesn’t constitute as a counter point. It counts as you not admitting you’re too self involved to actually give a damn about gay people.

Instead of talking about the male characters you ship, try supporting the already existing queer media that’s out there. Instead of treating us like we are an accessory, don’t deny it happens, try treating us like a friend. We got our own issues to deal with on a day-to-day basis and we don’t need some over privileged kid asking us which boy we think looks cuter.

 

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Uuuuuh, both?

If you want to be an ally then try actually helping us, watching Rupauls Drag Race doesn’t count.  Don’t pretend to care, actually care. If you don’t care then don’t act like you’re Daenerys TarGAYryen mother of Queers. We don’t need your fake love. We already have problems within our own community we need to fix and we don’t need you to be one of them. It’s like throwing Flubber into a room of unstable china cabinets! That shit is already on some shaky ground and it doesn’t need your crazy green ass bouncing off the walls like a ADHD child on crack. Get that nonsense out of here.

I would say your intentions are good but we both know they aren’t. Dont sit back and pretend you’re one of those genuine little ladies that actual care about us, we know your kind. You smell like La Senza and your sassy t-shirts with the word “fetch” gives you away. Oh, you think Mean Girls resonates with you? I would have never guessed.

I guess what I’m saying is that we don’t need you. We need real friends who don’t run fake smiles and fake tans. So take your oversized sun hats and your nasty DIY acid wash jeans and go find someone who can’t see right through you. Make way for the straight allies who actually give a damn.

FYI, Maybe you need to spend some time figuring out why you seek acceptance from someone based upon something like sexuality rather than actively seeking it. Just sayin’ it may be a good idea.

Avoiding you like the Plague,

A Queer whose sick of sitting through conversations about American Horror Story.

Ps. You may not call me your “fag” anymore than you can call your one black friend the “N” word. Using words that are traditionally offensive does not make you “edgy”, it just makes you a jerk.

Manly versus Being a Man

Personal Posts

Oooooh, what’s this?

Another post?!

Shock! Awe! Rejoice!

Seriously though, I really wanted to tackle something important with this post. It’s something that has been on my mind since the day I came out and I really want to get a few things off my chest regarding it.

It’s this whole idea that a Transman needs to be manly to be considered “truly” Transgender.

This is dumb and whoever thought of it needs to be slapped with an iron gauntlet.

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Leave it to a man in tights to understand my sentiment.

I’ve mentioned it before but due to its relevancy I’ll repeat myself. When I first came out my mom was confused because I had never shown an interest in stereotypically male things as a child. I preferred playing “Barbie murder court” or “my little pony jousting” more than soccer or football.

So I asked her;

“Well Alvaro(my roommate) likes mermaids and Disney princess films, and he has loved them since he was a child. Does that make him less of a man?”

Her response was along the lines of “Well, that’s different. Alvaro isn’t straight,”.

Keep in mind, she has since completely come to understand where I am coming from with this but at the time it just didn’t make sense to her. The way she saw it was “If you like effeminate things and date boys then you can’t identify as male if you weren’t born that way”. However, if I was born male with the same set of interests that was completely different.

I find people get a bit antsy and weird when they have to see a more effeminate transman as a man. Like, being transgender was hard enough for them to accept but being “gay” on top of that completely destroys their world. I don’t understand this. It’s not because I think everyone should immediately understand me and my views on gender even if they have never been introduced to the concept before, not at all. I don’t get it because I don’t think it should matter to them. I don’t understand how my identity as an individual needs to be focused on to a point where it becomes an issue. I mostly notice that I get this from people I only know casually, infrequent acquaintances.

“I am a man, now can we get back to our previous conversation? No?  You’re going to stand to here for thirty minutes trying to convince a virtual stranger that you know him better than he knows himself? Yeah, that’s cool. I’ll play fruit ninja on my phone till you’re finished…”

I don’t know these people well enough for anything about me to be greatly affecting them. My gender identity affects their life on the same level as my favourite colour, a passing element of my being as person and nothing more. Rather than focusing on me, maybe they need to find a hobby…I’ve heard knitting can be relaxing.

Regardless of what others say, there shouldn’t be this great divide between masculine and feminine when it comes to being transgender. A Transman should be allowed to date men and wear pink and a Transwoman should be allowed to date women and watch Nascar without either of them being questioned. Your interests and sexual preferences shouldn’t dictate your gender identity.

Of course I have always felt that these standards should also be applied to cisgendered individuals. Just because a Cis man likes watching RomComs and waxing his eyebrows doesn’t mean he’s gay. People should be able to be themselves and express their interests regardless of gender. If you’re a girl who loves pink princess dresses or a guy who loves his beard and plaid, that’s totally cool and you rock that as well.

Point being; don’t let anyone tell you jack about your gender, but also don’t give anyone a hard time about theirs. Whether what you like is “gender normative” or not, that’s up to you. Your gender identity is your own and if anyone ever insists they know better than you do about yourself…

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Well….you know what to do.

Keep doing you everyone and stay Tobly awesome.

I know I will.

 

I’m Back!

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And I’m back!

For good this time!
There is entirely too much going on in my life right now and the need to write has been killing me lately. I dropped off the face of the Earth for a while there and I promise I had a good reason!…
Okay.
I lied.
No good reason.
The important thing is that I have returned, I am now 6 months on T and there is so much I want to talk about! SO many things have been happening, I may need to break this up into smaller posts. We shall see.
I think I’m going to start with personal life things and leave my HRT changes for their own post entirely.
So since the last time I posted, which I think was maybe 4 months ago? 5? I don’t recall. Either way I have been lucky enough to be pre-occupying my time with a really rad guy that I get the privilege of calling my boyfriend. Now I’m not going to go on and on about relationship stuff that you guys probably don’t want to hear but what I will say is that I’m really happy. He is exactly what I was looking for and I am very fortune to have acquired him.

 

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Enough of that BS though, let’s move on to the rest of the wonderful things that have been happening to me!

I have a living space! I have a brand new apartment and I am so excited to FINALLY be out of my parents place. (My sex life is also happy)  It’s small and in a basement, but it’s clean and it’s all mine…and my roomies. He’s an okay guy…

Translation: He’s my main homeslice.

I love my parents, and recently I’ve felt closer to my mom than I ever have before but it’ll be nice to move on my own. I’ll miss our late night talks and bonding over our inability to sleep but I need my space and independence. Having said that, moving is super stressful and I want to slam my head against the wall at times, but it’ll all be worth it in just a few more hours when my move in date hits!

My extended family on my mom’s side has been very supportive as well, both with my move and transition. The amount of love and help they have offered me has been more than I could ever ask for. My Aunt even gave me and my roomie a beautiful picture of my “cousin” to decorate our new home.

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…He’s beautiful.

Basically my family has made the tail end of 2015 and the beginning of 2016 better than I could have imagined. Getting to keep the people I love by my side has been a gift that I will never take for granted after being so (needlessly) scared of losing them. I’ve been so lucky and I am incredibly aware of that.

Yesterday was the Trans Day of Awareness and getting to be out and proud with the love of those closest to me is a gift. I know some of you out there haven’t been so lucky, and for that I am so sorry. I have had a few people who have been unable to accept my transition so I know how it feels to lose someone. I come out of this on the other side, not counting the people I lost, but cherishing the people who I stayed with me. If you focus on those that leave you, you lose sight of those you still have.

Enough with the mushy feelings! More good stuff!

I’ve been receiving more and more commission work as the months roll by and it’s both scary and exciting. I really feel like I am making some ground with my work and it’s very promising. I am personally attributing some of this towards the Wyvern project I am employed to do. It’s really opened me up to a huge audience, an audience I want to represent. I think that’s really ballin’ and I am so happy it’s played out this way. Now I just need to keep up the momentum, which has been difficult with the move and my regular comic store work hours. Worth it!

So as I sit here chugging an energy drink and preparing to work late into the night, packing and drawing for Wyvern, I find myself over-worked and stressed yet peppy as heck. I am so ready for my move in date and for what the future holds. If it’s bad? Well, let future Toby worry about that. For now I will enjoy the good fortune that has landed before me and take this shit one day at a time.

I’ll probably want to blog about my move before I post about my HRT changes so expect that first, probably on Sunday knowing me.

Well folks, that’s all for now. As usual, stay Tobly awesome.

I know I will

 

 

 

 

Think of the Children!

Personal Posts

I know, I know, a post dedicated towards kids when over a year ago I am pretty sure I made it very clear that I never wanted them. I swear this is about something entirely different and far more important than my lack of future spawns.
I know many of my readers are either Trans* or Trans* allies due to the amount of you that have come on board since I started making more frequent posts about the topic. I want to take this opportunity to talk about a project I was hired on to do and why I really want you to consider funding it.
Wait, please don’t stop reading there! Cause even if you can’t afford to fund it, I really encourage you to share it. For the kids out there that were like me.
Let me tell you my story and you’ll understand why this is so important to me.
Growing up I had never heard the word “transgender”, I didn’t really even know what the word meant till I was 12. Up to that point I just thought everyone felt the way I did and that I would feel better when I got older. As I grew and eventually learned of the word it was only in passing. I honestly thought that because I didn’t like all the things boys stereotypically liked then I wouldn’t make a very good boy anyway. Of course my sexuality didn’t really help.
It also didn’t help growing up in a low income and very homophobic area, I don’t even want to know what they would have thought of Trans* people. I ended up engulfing myself in Archie comics and books with young male protagonists. I can’t help but feel that if I had been able to access some form of media that helped me understand what I was feeling at a young age then I would have come out as Trans a long time ago. I didn’t have that though, so I went about my younger years thinking I was just different in a “curable” sort of way.
Okay, so sob story over and moving along to what I really want to discuss. It’s called Wyvern and it’s being written by my friend, and teacher of little spawnlings, Kyle McGiverin.
I am terrible with words so I’m going to post a little thing from the Kickstarter that Kyle wrote. His words are far better than mine could ever be:
” Meet Quinn. Quinn is twelve-year-old boy much like the other twelve-year-old boys he knows – except that he was born in the body of a girl.

Home on Earth, Quinn happens upon a coin in the dirt, and is transported from his own world to Aldia, a strange world where humans live alongside wonderful creatures called wyverns. In Quinn’s quest to return home, he discovers that the wyverns are victims of a centuries old curse. Despite having wings, the wyverns cannot fly. He learns that the coin that transported him to Aldia may be the key to breaking the wyverns’ curse. Eager to be of help, Quinn postpones his search for a way home to join the wyverns in their effort to return to the skies. However, to succeed, Quinn must accept, without doubts, who he really is.”

Can he do it?”
Ooooh Can he you guys?
So if you can’t tell by now why I really want this project to be a thing I will tell you as plain as day;
I want little “Toby’s” out there to read this and not feel the way I use to.  I want them to just feel okay and to have a book that helps them with those feelings and with their own identities. Sometimes the only way to get the things you want in the world is to do what you can to make it happen.
And that’s exactly what I am doing.
When Kyle came to me offering me the opportunity to work with him as the illustrator for this story I immediately said yes, how could I ever say no?
This was everything I ever wanted as a kid and I now had the chance to actually work on it and make it a reality.
So you’ve heard my reasoning, now I will leave it to you.
Please support this in anyway you can, for the kids that you once were, the people you know and love and for me. Because as a strange dude on the internet who spend his days drawings comics and what not, I would appreciate it.
Also support it because the book is cool, and hopefully you’ll enjoy my illustrations as well.
Here is the Link do with it what you will but please don’t forget about it.
Thanks for reading guys, I really mean that.
Stay Tobly awesome
I know I will in between sips of energy drinks and sleepless nights.

Just because it’s “Kawaii” doesn’t mean I’m cool with it.

Personal Posts

This is a really hard issue to handle I find, simply because those who do it are not only getting a level of profit from it but also don’t seem to see an issue in it nor their hypocrisy in some cases.

Many feminist and LGBT bloggers have written before about lesbian porn that is directed and created by men for men. Granted some gay women still watch it but they are not the intended audience. The sexualization of a minority is never a supplement for representation, we all know this, so then why does the Yaoi community still exist?

I’m not some outsider speaking from the outer edges of a community I don’t understand, I am a bisexual transgender man who was closeted as a woman for 21 years. I was extremely closeted. I’ve been around the Yaoi block a few times, and I’m still there kind-a-sorta.

To it’s true definition Yaoi is Japanese manga/anime style gay porn. Meanwhile shonen-ai(spelling guys, sorry to my Japanese speaking readers) is just “boy love”, just romantic gay stories done in the same manga/anime style. It’s not actually the whole “boy love” thing that I have an issue with, it’s a few aspects of Yaoi that honestly really bothers me.

*I’m taking this opportunity to leave a trigger warning here. If you guys aren’t diggy down with me talking about violent and sexual content matter then please stop reading here. I deal with some straight up shit in this rant*

Recently I found out an anime/manga I use to enjoy has crossed the line and become an offender of my first grievance. Kuroshitsuji, otherwise known by it’s English title “Black Butler”. Now I am a huge fan of murder mystery, innocent satirical humour and little kids with an attitude, seeing as I was a kid much like that. Kuroshitsuji had all of this, therefor I almost immediately loved the series and proceeded to recommend it to my bro (who also enjoyed it, especially Grell). I’ll be the first to say that the anime already reeked of fan-girl fodder and gay-baiting but I was able to look past that and pass it off as a simple “making fun of the genre” kind of thing.  That is until the creator made the announcement that the series was originally supposed to be a Yaoi series. Which is gross. Not because I am homophobic (once again Trans bisexual all up in here), nor because I hate representation of my own community. I hated hearing this announcement because the two characters that all these fan-girls ship are the two pictured here

Look at those two dashing gentlemen, aren’t they lovely? Except for the fact that the one with the eye-patch is a child. That fact that it’s animated and anime really doesn’t eliminate the fact that the creator wanted to make the series a Yaoi with one of the characters being only 13-14 at the time. If she was planning to change the age and maybe didn’t make that clear in the original statement then that’s cool. But if she really intended on keeping him that age then no, not “Kawaii” not “sugoi”. It’s called Pederasty and it’s illegal for very good reasons. I’ve heard a few girls (let’s not deny that the fan-base is predominantly female) argue that it’s just the Japanese culture and so on and so forth. Really? Using the culture card as a way to support the fact that you are drawing fan-art of a grown man having sex with an underage boy isn’t something a morally sound human does. Those guys that draw pictures of underage schoolgirls showing their panties? Yeah, you’re on the same level as them. You’re also arguably worse then the people that draw sexy superhero ladies….at these those characters are of age and not getting raped. Which leads me to my next issue.

JUST BECAUSE YOU SHIP IT, IT DOES NOT MAKE RAPE OKAY. Rape is not cute. It is not cute when someone forces themselves onto another person and makes them cry from anal rape. You can’t sit there and bitch about rape culture, male or female, and then turn around and read a doujinshi about Kiba from Yugi-Oh raping poor Yugi because he “loves him”. Rape and sexual assault are not healthy ways to depict a homosexual relationship. Granted it’s an issue in adult oriented anime/manga across the board but it almost feels like the “fan-girl” community will glaze over this. While on the topic of inappropriate representations of physical relationships between men, lube and condoms. Spit is not a substitute for lubricant, take it from me, that shit hurts. I honestly don’t blame the Uke for crying, I would to if my partner was practicing dry and unprotected sex. Would it really kill you guys to stop making out for six seconds to use some lube? It’s really not a difficult concept.  I don’t really have much else to argue about this seeing as it really is very simple; don’t rape the people you love and love them enough to practice safe and painless anal. Welcome to 2014, where we can have consensual sex in our illustrated pornography.

My next point slightly goes hand in hand with my last one but at the same time it’s more an issue with the community and picking their battles. I’d like to start by saying that I have been on Tumblr for a long ass time, and I follow a large diversity of lovely people. This does include a few Yaoi fan-girls. I could go into how they always turn straight characters gay then ignore the gay ones *cough*tonycapshippersignoringyoungavengers*cough* but there is something a bit more important to address. You can’t hate on Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey then turn around and read a Yaoi manga that supports the very same type of emotionally abusive and controlling relationships.  Often times Yaoi is even the worst offender (see my previous point). I can’t, in good conscious support an anime/manga that supports the sort of relationships I find damaging for the same reason I refuse to spend any money on the 50 shades of grey series. No one should be romanticizing  or sexualizing a  relationship that has such an unequal and damaging effect on one of the partners. I have a queer friend that was in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. It was not fun to watch and I am sure it wasn’t fucking romantic for him either.

My entire point being; you can’t give Yaoi a pass on things western society finds otherwise inexcusable. You can’t hide it behind misconceptions of Japanese “culture” and you sure as hell can’t hide it behind the curtain of “LGBT representation”. I have no issues with porn, in fact I love porn and consider myself an enthusiast of all forms of consensual porn between two (or more) adults. My issue is when people try to make it okay that rape, assault, sex with a minor and emotional abuse are all okay because it’s animated and between guys. The fact that the audience is predominantly female doesn’t mean anything either. Women can be just as corrupt as men, a uterus doesn’t give you a “get out of jail free” card when you draw pederasty. Even if it is just fan-art.

So you can go ahead and support Yaoi. Heck use it for whatever purpose to your hearts content, there actually are fantastically written yaoi out there! I myself actually do read and enjoy several yaoi manga’s out there, and many webcomics based off the yaoi genre. Just remember the reality of what you’re watching and maybe instead of rape, switch over to good old consensual BDSM. Remember kids safety words are sexy and bondage is fun when you have advil at hand. Support safe homosexual relationships in the way that you would heterosexual ones. No one ever needs to feel like abuse is romantic or acceptable.

That’s all for today guys. I’d really like to thank and welcome all my new readers to my blog. I honestly don’t blog only about LGBT stuff, I enjoy covering a broad range of topics so stay tuned for those. There were just a few things I wanted to get off my chest lately. I also blog about…stuff…and things. Stuff and things that I am sure will be interesting.

So till next time, stay Tobly awesome everyone.

Why equal representation is important in comics.

Personal Posts

I have been working a lot of long days here at the comic store so my actual free writing time has been bumped up significantly as of late. I think that’s been reflected in the amount of new readers I have. Hi readers!

As many of you already know I work two jobs; one at a small Comic store in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area not Grand Theft Auto) and another job doing comic book illustration. Working almost full days  all week long in the comic field, one can pretty much assume that comics are always on my mind. Always. So I find it strange that I haven’t actually addressed a very important issue in comics that’s very near and dear to me. Equal representation.

I know that some of you may be cringing at this point, you’ve heard it before from feminist bloggers and POC readers and for you readers that have the privilege of being represented it must feel like we’re beating a dead horse. This is a very important topic and I feel as though the comic publishers are finally getting a hang of it (at least Marvel is trying, DC is just slowly getting the general idea in one issue then getting distracted by stereotypes and messing up in the following issues). I’ve heard some people say that women should be happy because now they have Black widow in her own series, a lady as Thor, Ms. Marvel, the new Batgirl and indie titles like Rat Queens. Which is cool yeah, and you girls should definitely by happy with what you have so far. That doesn’t mean it’s equal yet.

You guys want to know one of the reasons why I illustrate comics? Too bad, this is a narrative so your input doesn’t matter and I was going to tell you anyway.

When I was in high school I got into an internet debate with some dude on Gaia (oh such a dated statement really). At that time I wasn’t out as Transgender so I had an account on there as a cisgender bisexual man, my own way of satisfying my inner feelings. That’s beside the point though. He was a straight white guy and he failed to see why this one black gay guy was ranting about the lack of well written representation in comics. Keep in mind this was back when I was in high school so things were a lot more close minded in the comic world, it hadn’t yet hit the main stream so it was still very much a closed off community.

So white guy tells the OP to stop complaining. This is where I came in. I went off on him like we were in a god damn court of law and I was Matt Murdock taking his ass to town. In the end he replied to me with the very well thought out and original come back “Why don’t you write comics then”….so I replied back “okay, I will”.

Now here I am. Trying to make it in the comic world and doing just what that dude said. I will create stories with diverse and interesting characters that people can relate and look up to on a human level.

Having said that though, I really want to go back to why this is so important.

I have heard it said in counter arguments “Why is gender, race, sexuality, disabilities so important to you? Why can’t you just idolize Batman?” Cool, yeah, sure. I do idolize Batman but I would also love to have a character that I can actually relate to. As someone who is constantly represented in the media some guys can’t understand why it’s so important to have a hero you can see yourself in.

I remember when I was little watching Static Shock and there was that moment when the show insinuated that Virgil’s friend Rick was gay (a few years later when I read the comic I found out it was true). At that time I remember Rick instantly becoming my new favourite character. I knew how he felt. I knew that feeling of fear and isolation because I felt it every single day. No straight character could ever make me feel that way up till that point in my young confused life. That is so important that new generations will come to feel that way no matter who they are.

The fact of the matter is, much like becoming immune to pet odor when you have a cat, if you are constantly seeing yourself in characters in the media then you wouldn’t really see that the rest of us barely exist in the eyes of writers. In a way though it does make sense that minorities have low visibility. Since we were kids we were told that if we wanted to be a writer we should write what we know. The majority, not all, of the comic writing work force are straight white males so it would make sense for them to write about “what they know”. I know for some of my straight white male friends they are even afraid of tackling minorities out of fear of misrepresentation, and I can totally understand that seeing as it has happened countless times before. I think that’s when we really need to do two things to help fix this problem.

1) People research

If you’re going to write a minority character and you feel scared of offending them, ask a friend that’s in the same boat as that character. For example, a very talented writer friend of mine (Matthew Rogers) wants to write about a Transgender character and he has asked me if it’s okay to reference me about it so that he doesn’t risk offending the Transgender community in any way. Learn people, then you can write about the things you know.

2) Get more writers of diversity all up in there.

This is a tricky, tricky fix. Now don’t get me wrong, I love DC comics, they can be super cool and their shows are awesome but at the same time they have presented themselves as a shining example for many of my points. Many people have stated that DC purposely turns away POC, female and queer writers (Even other publishers like xenoscope….but why would you want to go near them anyway. Like a dirty dish rag in the corner that you look at and don’t wanna touch). Here is where the issue begins, DC has always said they give everyone an equal shot but their numbers say otherwise. So it is really touchy for me to say one way or the other whether DC is straight up lying through their teeth or if these other writers are just not good enough. Although I doubt it’s the latter, have you read Lobo? It’s just okay really…..

So I fear we find ourselves in a rut with major publishers, DC is floundering and Marvel is fairing better but to be honest they’re both miles away from the indie guys. Image is absolutely slaying them both as far as this issue goes.

To be fair DC has been doing a good job on the female front with their shows, but this is just about the comics so we won’t go there. A round of applause all the same though, you cartoon writers write a damn good Wonder Woman (You know….with a personality outside of “Amazon”) .

I think until the major publishers really catch on fully to whats going on the most we can do is keep talking about it and to keep spending money on the comics that feature more of the characters we want. Marvel and DC aren’t going to create more diverse characters if the titles they have now aren’t selling. So to all you “activists” That bitch about the industry then download Ms. Marvel, you are a huge part of the problem. Marvel is working on new titles with more diverse character because they saw how much money Ms. Marvel made them. Companies understand money, not squishy feelings so learn to battle them on their own grounds.

So be gone, buy a comic and support the writers out there that are  kicking ass and rockin’ it. Or write, or draw. Don’t be a backseat activist. Let’s beat this dead horse till the new generation of comic readers have something we barely did; a hero just like them.

So till next time everyone, stay Tobly awesome

New blog name and why I shouldn’t have nice things

Personal Posts

Howdy everyone!

So I’ve spent the past few days hanging with my bro Alvaro, trying to get some comic work done for our own titles. It’s been good just getting to work and also enjoy each others idiocy. So, so much idiocy.

I suppose I should start this whole post out by addressing the obvious; the new blog name. Why fix something that isn’t broken? The simplest way or putting it is “because my girlfriend gave me a look when I first mentioned the word ‘Bro-nouns’.” Well kiddies, story time.

So girlfriend and I are headed home from the sexy story telling meet up we went to and the phrase hits me like a ton of bricks sent from the Greek gods themselves. You see, earlier in the night anyone who wanted to tell a story was asked to share their pronouns with everyone. As a transgender man that was very appreciated. So reflecting on that in the street car, I gleefully turned to my girlfriend and, with the dumbest of smiles, said;

“Babe….I use bro-nouns,” This resulted in her giving me one of her “why me? You’re an idiot” looks that I adore so much. That glare pretty much sealed the deal. Bro-nouns shall haunt her forever more. Plus it’s more cringe-worthy and punny than “Man-made”, and that’s really what I’m all about.

Aight, at this point I am sure you can all tell that this post is one of my update posts rather then a subject post. I do promise I shall start posting my writing again some time soon, I just need to get over this huge pile of illustration work that needs attending. I have been working on a few short stories and I will probably wait till they’re all finished before I start posting those anyway, rather then post as I go….in fact I don’t think I know anyone that posts as they go. It just sounds like a bad. A very bad,bad.

I always hate writing these updates without adding some sort of generalized point to it so I think I’ll use this opportunity to bring up a little something regarding t.v., movies and the like seeing as that was what fueled the drawing session between my big bro and I.

Well that and dicks….lots of dicks with weird pointed heads

So we ended up watching an anime called Kyou Kara Maou. If you don’t know of this anime and you love blatant gay jokes I would totally suggest checking out the English dub. I have a very deep love for any show or movie that tends to not take itself seriously, seeing as I don’t take myself seriously. A healthy sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself are things that I believe contribute to a happier life in general. Kyou Kara Maou, I feel, is the perfect example of that philosophy in anime form.

I’m actually not the biggest anime fan, I find they often suffer from a lack of originality that just destroys the whole experience for me. Granted in this world it’s hard to find many things with originality but I really think it’s about how you present previously done ideas that make them endearing. You can have two shows with the same plot and ideas but with completely different ways of presenting them. For example;

Avatar and Pocahontas are just the same movie. It’s been a few years now and we can all accept this. What makes them both good movies in their own respect is how both plots are presented to us in different ways that make us think for a split second that we are watching something new. Let’s face it, Avatar was a movie to entertain us and not to make us contemplate the complexities of our universe. For a movie with it’s given purpose, it did a good job of taking a basic plot idea that’s been done to death and dusting it off, putting on some cg makeup and making us forget our real life worries for a brief (arguable) time.

I find that some animes out there fail miserably at this. If in the first episode you introduce me to a little sister character, a girl next door, a rambunctious main character and a traditional Japanese beauty that are completely replaceable with any other character like that from other animes I will literally give zero shits about those characters. Now that would be okay for an action or horror anime where the character is just there to serve the plot and just look nice so cosplayers have something to craft. For an anime that seems like it wants to be character driven and serious? That’s not cool.

That’s why I like Kyou Kara Maou. The english dub at least, I am far too busy to stop drawing long enough to read god damn subtitles, if that bothers you kiss my pasty white ass. KKM doesn’t take itself seriously and it just there to make you laugh and feel good. I only got through the first 12 episodes and so far it brings me joy with every episode. If it goes down hill that would suck and I hope it doesn’t fuck up by trying to be too serious.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do love serious media. My favourite movie genres are actually thrillers, dramas, and horror films.  One of my favourite animes is actually Puella Modoka Magica (spelling ugh). I just feel as though if you’re making an anime, movie or t.v. show you should be aware of how often your plot has been done and how the viewer might feel about it.  I actually want to write a whole critic about why I actually gave up on Sword art online after the 10th episode but I will literally need a whole post for that because I am prepared to write an actual essay about why that is a good example of ‘nope’.

For now though the point I am trying to make is that certain watcheables are meant to make us feel good and forget our worries, and when the creator gets that and constructs their writing around that I end up doing a happy dance.

Also watch Grand Budapest….it’ll make you happy and sad but mostly happy. I promise, if I’m wrong you can come to Ontario and hit me.

Welp that’s it for now folks.

Till next time, stay Tobly awesome.

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Updates and learning experiences.

Personal Posts

Hello beautiful people of the world!
I have returned from my pilgrimage of self discovery and I have put on my big boy pants and I am ready to get back into blogging!
I have a bunch of new projects I am working on and I really feel as though writing here will give me a chance to breath and take down my thoughts in a controlled and organised manner.
First things first!
I am officially drawing dicks for a living! I am so happy about the absolute truth in that statement. I don’t know if any of you recall but I was hired a while back to possibly illustrate a comic that is due to be released next year. Well that comic is a fantasty Yaoi/Bara comic and I am so incredibly excited. This comic contains some of my favourite things in the universe. Mythology, racially and sexually diverse character casts and dicks….lot’s of dick. I am working with the gentlemen who are the brains behind Death Partners, an online Yaoi webcomic about awesomeness that you should all go read…now….I’ll wait.

Did you go read it?
I sincerely hope you did.

It is such an honour to be working with a creative team that I admire and it feels so great to have them appreciating the hard work I am putting into every page. I think that’s why I am back here now.
I have been avoiding writing an entry on here seeing as I have been really negative about things as of late. My testosterone date was pushed back, my mom recently said she would never accept me and I have been working so much lately that I have been unable to really take a step back and just give myself time to calm down and collect myself. I’ve never been the kind of person to bring up my personal issues and how much they truly affect me so I felt as though I needed to take a step back from blogging just because I knew that my Trans reports would just end up turning into anxiety driven rants about things that would bring joy to no one. That’s not what I am here for. I am not here to write about sadness and anxiety in a manner that can’t be seen as beneficial to myself or others. It’s not helpful and in a way it just draws more attention to issues that are out of my hands.
I was finally able to take a day and go see my therapist, one of the best ideas I have had in a while. We really worked through some shit and I really wanted to pass this all on to you guys.
He told me that there was no need to stress myself out over things I can’t control. I can’t make the testosterone date come faster by being angry or upset about it getting pushed back. I can’t will my mother into acceptance by getting depressed and troubled over it. All I can do is focus on myself and the things I can change. You know what guys? He was right.
I’m the kind of guy that needs control over every facet of my life, any loss of control drives me straight into sadness land. It took Michael telling me to chill to make me realise that worrying over things you can’t control is useless and it takes attention away from the things you can fix. I was spending so much time worrying about those fixed issues that I forgot to take care of myself. I stopped doing things for fun and just started trying to force puzzles pieces together without realising they were for the wrong puzzle. These aren’t my issues to solve and worry over.
My T date will come faster then I know. I just need to stay positive.
My mother acceptance on the other hand? That’s her issue. It’s up to her to work that out because I am happy with who I am and I know I am well adjusted with who I will become. When the time comes she needs to decide whether she’ll accept her son or lose him completely. I need to stop forgetting that and just move forward.

So here I am again. Writing and doing things for a sense of joy once more. I feel lighter and somewhat empowered thanks to this revelation.
So learn from my mini little dilemma and take from it what you will.
I hope that reading this contributed something to your day
You’ll all be hearing from me real soon now so sit tight! Another writing blog is coming your way
Till then, as always, stay Tobly Awesome.

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I know I am!

An Update: An Official summary about why I suck

Personal Posts

There are few feelings that I hate more in life than that sheepish, tail between the legs sort of shame I get when I come back from an unannounced hiatus. Like what I am doing right about now. I suppose I owe all my readers a bit of an explanation.
I can assure you all that I have been away from you for the very best of reasons, and I guess I can use this post to double as a very special announcement. I am sure I have mentioned my webcomic project with my mentor Maddsketch on this blog before, if not then I am mentioning it for the first time and I apologise for not keeping you all up to date on all my jams. My mentor maddsketch and I have been working on a webcomic project called The Sequentials, an online hosting site and webcomic publishing company for all the talented artists and writers in our lives. The site can be found here http://www.thesequentials.com but the site doesn’t officially launch till September 7th with our first four titles. Okay so now I’m going to move on to why this has affected my update schedule on here.
If you all go to the website and view the upper scroll of banners you can see all the titles launching in September, among those you can see a comic called ‘Tales of Lost’. Yeup! For those of you that have been reading my creative writing posts, congratulations! Good on you for paying attention because now you know exactly what I am talking about, for those that maybe just read my Trans bloggy doo or my movie reviews I should go ahead and expand on this shindig. Tales of Lost is my Steam Punk fantasy adventure comic, it centres around a woman named Jennifer Lost and her journey in a parallel Earth called ‘Cealusterra’. Manatees, airships, gun’s that go bang bang and gay pirates. You know, all the wholesome stuff. I’m going to go ahead and toot my own horn and say that it’s fuckin’ awesome and you should all go read it when it releases.
So there you have it. It’s all Tales of Losts’ fault, I have been working on it none stop so that it’s perfect for when it launches. I have an entire issue finished and ready for the sites launch, updates will be weekly so that’ll give me ample time to work on issue 2. I will eventually be releasing the comic in print with exclusive content but that’s not till after issue 3 premieres on the site so that’s a long way off. Even still you guys, I am super excite to show you all my hard work. I have also been working on banners and promotions for the site, all of which I am putting the finishing touches on tonight then showing them to the group for approval and what not. So much art-ness!
I am so gosh darn diddly excited to finally have my comic out there! This’ll be the second time I’ve illustrated the comic, the first draft can still be found at talesoflost.thecomicseries.com. Be forewarned that it is of the shiftiest quality and is in no way an indicator for the quality of the relaunch. Many writing flaws have been fixed and toyed with, along with the art. Also, other characters have been messed with and re-designed. I originally illustrated the comic when I was still in the closet so there is totally a character named Toby that was pretty much just who I wanted to be, which is the worst way to write a character. He was this dopey little deckhand shit, his design and purpose has since changed and he is now named Devonte. I like him better now.
Well, I think that is pretty much all I had to say about that. I will be giving you all a weekly update from now till my schedule frees up enough for me to return to our previous updates. Weekly updates will be released on every Wednesday starting now.
I’ll give you all a good solid update next week on a few other things going down, but till then; stay Tobly awesome, folks.